Self-Management: Riding the Wave and Recovering from Wipe Outs

Self-management is the practice of staying on the board—centered, responsive, and present—even when the sea of coaching gets wild.

Self-management is one of the most essential—and invisible—contexts in Co-Active Coaching. It’s not flashy. It won’t win you a standing ovation. But it is the difference between a coach who flounders... and one who flows.

🏄 Think of yourself as a surfer.

You’re out there in the ocean with your client—riding the waves of their thoughts, emotions, energy. Some days it's smooth sailing. Other times, you're in the splash zone of grief, anger, or confusion. Self-management is what keeps you steady: centered, responsive, and fully present, even when things get choppy.

But let's be clear: self-management is not detachment.

You're not floating above the moment like a Zen cloud. You're in it—with your gut, heart, and instincts fully engaged. You feel the swell. You notice the tug. But you don’t let it pull you under.

When a client’s story lights up your own—touching a sore spot or rubbing against your values—you’ll feel that internal wave rise. That’s human. The question is: do you react from it… or respond through it?

A self-managed coach notices their inner reaction (judgment, emotion, ego) and chooses to stay with the client, not their own story. Subtle shift, massive impact.

To bring this concept to life, let’s explore what self-management is, what it isn't, and what it looks like in coaching. Bonus: I'll share some practices to help expand your capacity to manage your own waves when they surface and stay present in a coaching session. 🌊

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